From the mouths of babes
Over the course of three days this week, I had the pleasure of delivering a series of leadership seminars to over one hundred children, aged 11 and 12, across Australia. It was an awesome opportunity that I thoroughly enjoyed. The focus of my discussion was to introduce ways to manage extreme emotions, especially nerves. At the start of one my workshops, we were getting to know each other a little more and I asked what time everyone had woken up that day. One sweet little 11 year old from Victoria volunteered that she woke up early, as she normally gets up at around 5:30am. Willingly! I was so surprised and curious, I asked her what wakes her up so early. She said no-one wakes her up and she doesn’t have any musical instruments to practise or any sports to play so early. She just does it because she likes to “reflect” at that time. What she said next, knocked me off my feet! She detailed to me that she:
likes to sit in front of her window, which looks outside where she can see the trees and the sky
likes to think about the day before
notices what she’s feeling and thinking right now, and
thinks about what she wants to do better today.
She also enjoys the peace and quiet of that time in the morning.
I know what you’re thinking, what’s the punch line? Yep. I was waiting for it too. A giggle to say she was joking or the truth that only her mum reflects in the mornings. But there was no punch line. This girl is the real deal! You could hear crickets from my end as I was left speechless trying to link the words I heard to the tiny face in front of me. I imagined her legs barely reached the ground from where she was sitting at her dad’s computer table, logged into Zoom with headphones too big for her small head and a smile as big and bright as her eyes.
She spoke with a sense of knowing that I have not witnessed in many. As we dug into the content of my workshop and went deep into the workings of how we feel the nerves, she said she was very aware of how and when the nerves got the better of her. She said she wanted to get better at handling it. I noticed that her ability to focus on the exact moments when she feels the nerves, the situations which made things worse and the behaviours she tended to navigate towards when she was consumed with nervousness, was extremely insightful. I have not met many adults with the ability to narrow down their thoughts and feelings to precise moments which they can then explore and shift for a better outcome. At least, not without the assistance of a professional (just ask my own coach about me!). To put things into perspective, I worked with a very busy and flustered lady in her late 40s last year who was unable to perform her job because she froze in the moment. She was completely unaware of why she froze and could not even tell me the sensations she felt in her body which caused her to shut down. But here was this 11 year old, who could tell me every thought and sensation in great detail.
What’s the point of my story here? I suppose, it’s to share my experience with you and to show you that our little people can definitely be more insightful than us old people at times. Also, a reminder that we can learn a lot from our younger generations, if we are willing to listen to them with an open mind, not just an open heart. But most importantly, to point out the power in our willingness to sit with the uncomfortableness within us. As adults, we get so consumed in our need to prove ourselves to our external world, that we avoid the need to stop and pay attention to our inner world. By not doing so, we do ourselves a great disservice. We end up dancing around in circles to the music of our fears, under the illusion that we are flying free towards our maximum potentials. Without the insight of our inner workings, there is no chance of ever changing our situations. Not on a deep level anyway.
By allowing for reflection time in your days, you get to:
understand your emotions
observe your reactions
hear your thoughts
clarify your beliefs
make thoughtful decisions
come back to reside in your body and
enjoy your own presence
…at the very least.
Just like this 11 year old young lady, you too can enhance your ability to focus, pinpoint your areas of change and then be ready to apply the tools to help yourself through your commitment to self-awareness and reflection. If an 11 year old can muster up the motivation and commitment to herself, to wake up earlier so she can wake up to her inner world, then so can you!
