It's the motivation that matters.

Motivation is the root of all successes. Regardless of your goal, regardless of how compelling your vision may be, most of us struggle to stick to our new years resolutions quite early on. As parents, we have an added responsibility to motivate our children too. We want to ensure they do their best at school, socially and look after themselves. If we can’t even motivate ourselves most of the time, how can we motivate someone else?

Studies have shown us that high emotional intelligence and awareness play a far greater role in predicting life success than IQ alone. This means, having a good understanding of self, how we regulate and respond to emotions and then connect with our environments are skills that will impact the quality of the lives we lead. So, without a good understanding of ourselves and our internal drivers, how can we motivate ourselves? And without this motivation, how can we possibly achieve our goals anyway?

A healthy sense of motivation is achieved by following through a process of:

  1. Self-awareness - deep understanding of who we are and how we respond to our emotions;

  2. Formation of healthy habits to support a growth mindset;

  3. The use of carefully chosen extrinsic rewards to compliment the intrinsic ones; and finally

  4. Commitment to see it through.

However, if you’re like most people who have lost the drive already, then that’s probably because you’re going through this list backwards. This means you are determining your goal and then;

4. Committing 100% to seeing it through… somehow

3. Seeking extrinsic rewards for mismatched vague intrinsic ones;

2. Forming habits to ensure you align yourself with the above short term rewards and;

1. Learning more about yourself through this process, especially what you are not particularly good at. There is nothing motivating about this!

If this resonated with you then that is fantastic! Now you can simply flip this process back the right way around and give your goals the best chance of being realised. If you need some help doing this, there are plenty of tools and services out there, feel free to reach out and ask us!

Get A Coach!

Get A Coach!

Just as us regular people regularly and proactively service our cars, appliances, houses, gardens, insurances, finances, teeth, pets and physical health we should also proactively check-in on our mindsets, our emotional well-being, our decision making processes, habits and our motivations. Because this form of proactive self-awareness is the most fundamental factor impacting the quality of our lives.


How we connect with each other is at various levels or frequencies. We have some relationships which are very low frequency and some which are very high. One of my teachers told me many years ago: “If you don’t like the radio station, then change the frequency”. What he meant was, if you don’t like how you are connecting with someone or something, then change the vibration.

Spring Cleaning

Spring Cleaning

I can’t wait for Spring! The grass will turn greener, the flowers will bloom… Waking up to sunlight instead of the alarm in the dark, is a treat. It is such a welcomed and highly anticipated change. Spring signifies newness in so many ways. This newness in climate doesn’t just bring the animals out of hibernation, it feels like us humans are also waking up after a long few months, itching for some change. How can we take advantage of these new circumstances and make change so much more effective? 

Historically, as the warm weather starts again, people would open their doors and windows to allow for the fresh air to help sweep out the dust collected indoors. Historically it allowed for the furnace soot from the walls and furniture to be cleaned out. This is where the term “Spring Cleaning” comes from and we practice this, slightly differently, to this day.

Are you nourishing or shrinking?

Kris Carr recounts the time in her life she found out she had stage 4 cancer at the age of 31.  She says, in a very real and entertaining speech (which I have linked below for your interest), that this was when she decided to become the CEO of her health. She says, very humorously, that she became the lady boss of her company, “Save My Ass Technologies Incorporated”.

How do you get out of an emotional rut?

It has been a long absence; you may have noticed I missed the March issue of my newsletter. I truly apologise for that but I know you will understand when I explain what I was doing. See, I was very busy doing the exact thing Pema Chodron is talking about. I was extremely busy giving myself a very difficult time. The fantastic thing about this really difficult time was, the more time I spent on it, the more difficult it got! Have you been there before? Here’s what happened to me: I got very sick, because I simply ignored previous illnesses (who has time to be sick?!) and it snowballed into a giant one.  So, there I was feeling extremely sorry for myself because I was sick and I had no energy to get myself up let alone work on the things I love, such as this newsletter. So as I couldn't do anything much to keep myself busy, I decided to keep busy by listing all the things I was failing to do because I was sick. This emotional black hole was where I lived for a few weeks.

Broken Hearted?

Have you ever experienced heartbreak? When you were a child, did you lose your favourite toy or were you hurt by your best friend? As you got older, maybe you were hurt by your first love or felt misunderstood by your parents? More recently, maybe you have experienced the loss of someone close to you or experienced rejection. When a relationship ends for whatever reason or we experience sadness or pain, we describe it as a ‘broken heart’.  Well, here is something interesting to think about…what if it isn't really your heart that breaks? What if the thing that you break is in fact, your ego?

Core Intentions

Happy New Year!  I hope you have had an amazing start to 2016!

Did you notice that as soon as the flood of electronic Christmas wishes ended, a flood of electronic “New Year Resolutions” took over? My email and Facebook was taken over by posts and articles on how to make resolutions & how to stick to these resolutions. But now, towards the end of the month, I’m getting a few on how to ditch the resolutions altogether and how there’s no point anyway! What’s going on here? Are we all aiming too high? Are we being unrealistic? Are we just lazy? It’s pretty interesting (and a little funny) to see how we can raise the bar at the start of the month and 3 weeks into it, take that bar down and beat ourselves to a pulp with it.

Been fishing? How's your catch?

December is that time of the year isn't it - it's fun, love-filled, generous, (expensive) and celebratory. It's also the month where we check-in on our collective catch for the year. See, we've all been fishing and will pause this month to see how we did. Then we bait our hooks and re-cast our lines again, for the new year. What are we fishing for? Happiness, fulfilment, satisfaction, peace. What's the catch? Stuff - material and immaterial. What's the bait? Desire. The Desire Hook is thought to be the most effective bait to ensure we get exactly what we are fishing for. Until now.

Make Better Decisions to ease your mind

How often do you find yourself in a situation you regret being in? Or wishing you had made a better decision? Do you sometimes avoid moments of silence because you are afraid of the thoughts “I shouldn’t have accepted that job!” or “why did I say yes to that person?” Sometimes it is easier to bypass these moments of silence and busy ourselves by just doing all the things we have promised to do (wihich we wish we hadn’t).