Filters to your reality
“I am dumb” - 10-year-old boy
“It will never work” - 32-year-old employee
“They always leave in the end” - 45-year-old divorcee
“I will probably do it. Maybe definitely” - 74-year-old President
Can you see the power of the above statements? They are so much more than some words strung together. While reading them, you may have thought about instances or imagined the people behind the quotes you read (although the last one was an easy one)! These words communicate so much more than a sentence, they are an indication into the belief systems of the people saying them.
Photo by Wictor Cardoso from Pexels
The best analogy I have heard when it comes to describing the way beliefs work in our lives, is to equate it to filters on a camera. Just as a camera filter will determine how it sees the object it is viewing; our beliefs define and filter how we see the world. Our beliefs have both positive and negative consequences in our lives and are extremely far reaching. To the extent that they influence the way we see ourselves, and make decisions, they can affect us right down to the core, and even those around us.
“Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that can literally save their lives.”
It is important to understand how our own beliefs are limiting us so that in the same situations where we are inclined to give up or give in, we are instead able to see opportunity and growth. For instance, if Jo believes that she “is unreliable”, she will see examples which prove this in the world around her. She will notice and remember the feedback given to her by her staff or colleagues which imply this, recall memories of where she let someone down and reason it to be due to her unreliable nature. She will also make relationship decisions, daily health decisions and even manage her extreme emotions based on this belief. If unaware and unattended, this belief is likely to yield results that are limiting and detrimental.
Not only can deep set negative beliefs limit our own experience, it will determine the way we interact with our external world also. It has the potential to cause us to undermine, discriminate and demean those around us. This can impact not just one person, but entire groups of people depending on the position of power and influence one holds in society.
“Anything that cancels people are limiting”
- Michelle Rodrigues
If this is you, don’t fret! Rarely do I share my observations without a solution (just ask my husband!) We must first understand what a belief really is. Wayne Dyer says, “a belief system is nothing more than a thought you have thought over and over again”. You will enhance and back this thought up through a collection of stories, experiences and observations which you collect through your years and such that it becomes deeply resonating and engrained, shaping and filtering your life experience. You will have attached much emotion to this belief too, so it is easily triggered and provides as a quick go-to filter when you are required to make assumptions, set expectations and make sense of the world around you. It provides you with a sense of security and certainty in an ever-changing world.
One of the best ways to catch this belief system is to watch your language! What you say in your head to yourself and the words you choose to speak to those listening to you, is a telling sign of the beliefs you carry. Some argue that words have a similar impact on the body as drugs do. If this is the case then it’s because words trigger our inner belief systems and kick start our behaviour and reaction patterns. It is only when you hear the words yourself that you become able to shift it to a belief system that is empowering rather than limiting. Some of the limiting language we use include ‘but’, ‘should’, ‘can’t’, “always’, ‘never’ and ‘maybe’.
If you catch yourself thinking or using limiting language, make a commitment to changing the words you use. This simple shift can have a massive impact on not just how you feel but seeing the situation at hand differently. Also, listen out to the language used by those who tend to have a level of influence on you. What are their own limiting beliefs, and how can you ensure you don’t adapt your own to fit in with theirs?
