The importance of The End.

My dream of ‘freedom’ is with an image of me strolling through the country side of some quaint little European village, the sun on my face and a warm fresh breeze blowing through my hair. Time is endless and I am able to choose how I spend it. I am happy and relaxed. That’s the dream I have, writing to you from this venue one day in the future. FREEDOM.

What do you imagine when you think about freedom in your life? Although freedom looks like different things to each of us, it is essentially the ability to be “me” and to “do whatever I want” with my time. This is how many people explain it, even little kids.

My dream of freedom can only be achieved in the future, it’s something I have to work towards. When my children are older and I am financially secure and independent, my dream will come true (fingers crossed!) But must I wait for these events to happen to feel that sense of freedom? Can I feel freedom and experience it in my life now?

The answer is YES! You can experience in your every day life by following this basic 3-step process.

Step 1: Define it.

Know exactly what you want to experience, so that you can identify it when you do. What does freedom look like and feel like to you?

Step 2: Notice it.

Allow yourself to experience it in your everyday, starting now. Because in reality, what you experience later will not likely be more heightened or elaborate. The experience will be similar to the ones you have every day but are just not noticing it.

If I had to describe to you what the experience of freedom is to me, it is having the moments of peace and ability to do what I want to do with that time. I experienced it today while I took my dog for a 10 minute walk, strolling in nature listening to the birds, hearing my own thoughts, feeling free. I also notice it when I write this blog. Sunday sleep ins, Friday night movies with the kids and enjoying a good book with a cup of coffee - all bits of freedom for me.

Freedom comes in moments when we allow ourselves to be connected to ourselves, feel confident in ourselves and doing whatever we want to or have to, through that sense. In order for you to experience this state more and more, there is an important third step to the above that we don’t like to indulge in, but it is necessary.

3. Identify the end.

As humans, we don’t like ends. End of the day, end of the moment, end of relationships, end of things we love. Ends are not what we are programmed to work towards. We are programmed towards life - survival, growth, the next day, the next moment... But it’s a double edged sword that many of us don’t pause to contemplate. Without ends, there is no growth or beginnings or the next stage. However, we ignore this fact for the most part and we just let one experience roll into another with the illusion that it’s all one. This is where we get stuck. We imagine we are “stuck” in an emotion, we imagine we are “stuck” in a relationship, we imagine we are “stuck” in our jobs…and we are not. We never were. Everything ends and a new thing begins.

If you want to experience freedom and you want to get unstuck, I challenge you to notice the ends of everything that you experience. The end of the happy feeling, the end of the sad feeling, the end of the moment, the end of that thing in the past that you keep bringing up. I know it’s not easy, I know it can be daunting. But you can start with little things.

Here are some suggestions:

• Notice the end of your day. Pause and reflect. Say “let it end”.

• Notice the end of your meal. Pause and reflect. Say “let it end”.

• Notice the end of the beautiful interaction you had just now with your child or your partner. Pause and reflect. Say “let it end”.

• Notice the end of the emotion you are feeling. Watch it leave your body and say “let it end”.

And let it go. Let it go so you an be present for the new one.

If we don’t identify the ends, we let all these moments hold us back, even the good ones! We get lost in the illusions and disconnect from the reality of what is happening right now. Even if it’s unpleasant, it will end. Even if it’s pleasant, it will end.

Identifying ends are so important to allow us to experience a sense of freedom in our every day lives. Without learning how to identify ends of things, we mask our experiences into one, and then create an illusion that freedom is something we must wait to experience at a later date. The truth is, even sitting under the Tuscan sun sipping on some fine wine, the sense of freedom will end and in order for me to allow the freedom to come again, I will have to let it.