How to create emotional balance, simply
Is your emotional balance thrown way off where your children are concerned? Can the words kids and peace of mind even fall into the same sentence let alone exist in the same space of time?
It's so hard to separate our children’s emotions and their experience from ours. It almost makes us feel guilty to not share the same emotions - how can we have a good day when our child hasn't? But let me tell you something, it does your child no good to see you jump into the same emotional space they are in. I know that your love for your children are stamped with a deep desire for them to be happy and healthy. By putting your emotional well-being on hold and at the effect of your child's emotions, contradicts and derails this desire completely.
I know that when your kids are upset, you are also upset. When they are having a bad day, your relatively good day dissipates and melds into their experience. I know this leaves you feeling guilty, angry or sad. You may even feel like a failure as a parent and you start to think of all the things you could have or should have done to fix it for the kids. It's overwhelming! So you disconnect with the kids entirely. You disconnect with yourself too because it feels so bad in your own thoughts and emotions. Now you're stuck in a slump again, hoping in the morning you will feel better. Does this resonate with you?
I feel you my friend. We have all been there. We have all gotten stuck in this pattern many times. We need to find a way to be there for our kids experiences AND be there for our own well-being at the same time! It sounds like a big goal but all big goals come with small steps first.
Now, if you know me, you know I love a good SIMPLE process that WORKS! And I know you are the same. Which is why I am sharing with you my go-to, 3 Daily Non-Negotiables.
These non-negotiables are 3 things I commit to implementing for myself every single day, no buts about it!
I find that I not only stick to these every day with minimal to no effort, but I look forward to them too! They help me to reconnect with myself, check-in with myself and enjoy my own company.
I have shared my personal list with you here to inspire you and to show you how very basic it must be.
My 3 Daily Non-Negotiables.
Read a few chapters of a story book every day.
I'm normally an avid reader with a few books on the go at any time, but most of them are all related to personal development, education or business. So I have made it compulsory that this particular book to be fiction. Every day, I read a few chapters of this book with my morning cup of coffee. Although only a few chapters at a time, it is something I am jumping out of bed for!Go for a walk or exercise every day.
I regularly go for a walk anyway, but the intention was different. My old intention was to take my kids out for a walk. On the days when my kids didn't feel like it, I wouldn't go either. I was at the effect of them completely. So I shifted my intention, to go for a walk for me. It's a non-negotiable and if my kids join in, it's a bonus. Today I popped in my favourite podcast, grabbed my four legged favourite child (haha) and off we went! It felt really good.Take care of my skin.
My skincare routine is something I spend dedicated time on. However, I used to feel guilty about it, how I had to get it done quickly to get back to my kids and work. But now, I have embraced how much I love spending that time. I spend my time taking care of my skin every morning, and although it doesn’t take any longer than it did before, the self-imposed time limit is gone. The guilt afterwards has gone too. It helps me feel good, taken care of and starts me off in the right head space. It has had an impact on my kids too, with my daughter taking care with her skin and enjoying the process herself.
So my friend, I just wanted to inspire you to set some standards for yourself. Take care of you as a priority. I know it all sounds so simple and that's the best part! When you set yourself up with a healthy foundation for self-connection and care, it sets you up well for the challenges AND opportunities life presents. You're right, it won’t solve all your emotional clashes with your gorgeous kids, but trust me - it sets you up to be in a better mindset to handle yourself when it happens.
Showing our children how we take care of ourselves and enjoy your own company is an important lesson for them to grow up to be the healthy, happy and confident.
Go on, INSPIRE ME! Comment below and tell me your 3 daily non-negotiables!