Candy Crush your Life!
Ever hear people talk about Work-Life balance? Just about every other day right? I realise this topic is a bit sensitive and that I should probably approach it with as much care as one would when telling a child the truth about the well-intended magical story (i.e. big fat lie) of the tooth fairy. The truth is that this well-intended, never achievable mythical state called Work-Life Balance is the tooth fairy of adulthood. It doesn’t exist!
I’m sorry for bursting your bubble! I know. It sucks! I too, wished there was a magical state I would reach at some point in my life where I would wake up and float through all my morning parental activities and then float on a cloud to work where I would be surrounded by more lightness and brightness and just magic (and cake). Then I would come home and not be bothered by anything at all and this state would just last forever, as the new norm of my life. My friends would say “how do you balance all this Work and Life with so much ease?” and I would say proudly, “oh Hun, it’s Work-Life Balance! I’ve achieved it!”. And everyone would just look at me, admiringly. And there would be a youthful natural glow to my skin, because well….it’s a fairy tale!
Trying to achieve Work-Life Balance is like trying to beat the ever popular game, Candy Crush. You keep putting things together, having a plan, crushing it with some super moves and you think to yourself, you’re on level 3,450,678,000,406,098,345, and you haven’t even paid for a single special move at all today! Surely you must be getting close to the magical end? WRONG! Simon Leung got there, to the last level of Candy Crush and then do you know what happened? Nothing! Was the last level magical? No! What’s next? He’s waiting for the next level of Candy Crush to be released.
Let me empower you with a 2-step Re-Frame for Work-Life Balance so that you can win your Life game, right now!
Reality check:
Currently, you have made Work-Life into the hard candy. This means work-life is currently;
WORK-LIFE
Certain
Fixed and
Constant
This leaves the other entity, “You”, to be the colour bomb. “You” are:
YOU
Flexible
Malleable and
Inconsistent
“You” refers to your sense of self including your beliefs, likes/dislikes, needs, wants, goals, qualities, well-being and so on. Just like the colour bomb candy, you are at the effect of the hard candies. You are made up of them, you will behave depended on them too. You don’t exist without them.
This is why this equation is so mythical, and even dangerous, to our experience of our life. It causes the deepest sense of imbalance in one-self.
Step 1: Make the swap
Make your sense of self, your belief and awareness of ‘You’ the fixed entity in your world. Make this the certain and constant entity.
Make your Life (which includes your work, your hobbies, your relationships, your passions etc) your colour bombs. Allow Life to be flexible and malleable so that it can grow and change and shift. Life is at the effect of You.
YOU
LIFE
Step 2 : Do the work
Self-confidence is directly related to your self-awareness. The more self-aware you are, the more confident you are. So take a vested interest in your own self! Having a solid understanding and acceptance of yourself will help you handle the different areas of your life. When you have an interest to treat yourself with the care and focus you treat all that falls into your life, you will grow your appreciation and experience of it. Self-confidence work is what you do so that you can keep playing the game.
“Self-awareness is the ability to take an honest look at your life, without any attachment to it being right or wrong, good or bad”.
- Debbie Ford
I hope I have empowered you with a way to shift your approach to living a ‘balanced’ life. The whole goal is not to finish the game, it’s to enjoy the journey! Much like Candy Crush, apparently.